Lesson for ur smooth workin’ (Pelajaran untuk kelancaran pekerjaan loe)

Lesson 1

A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way to a
meeting. On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp.

 

They rub the lamp and a ghost appears. The ghost says, “Normally, one
is
granted three wishes but as you are three, I will allow one wish each”

 

So the eager senior manager shouted, “I want the first wish. I want to
be in the Bahamas , on a fast boat and have no worries.” Pfufffff. and
he was gone. Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted “I
want to
be in Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails.”
Pfufffff and he was also gone. The boss calmly said, “I want these two
idiots back in the office after lunch at 12:55pm .”

 

Moral of the
story:
“ALWAYS ALLOW THE BOSS TO SPEAK FIRST”

 

LESSON 2

 

Standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand,
“Listen,”said the CEO, “this is a very sensitive and important
document,
and mysecretary has left. Can you make this thing work?”

 

“Certainly,” said the young executive. He turned the machine
on,inserted
the paper, and pressed the start button.

 

“Excellent, excellent!” said the
CEO as his paper disappeared inside the shredder machine. “I just need
one copy.”

 

Moral of the story:
“NEVER, NEVER ASSUME THAT YOUR BOSS KNOWS EVERYTHING”

 

LESSON 3

 

An American and Japanese were sitting on the plane on the way to LA
When the American turned to the Japanese and asked, “What kind of -ese
are
you?”

 

The Japanese confused, replied, “Sorry but I don’t understand what you
mean.”

 

The American repeated, “What kind of -ese are you?”

 

Again, the Japanese
was confused over his question. The American, now
irritated, then yelled, “What kind of -ese are you … Are you a
Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese!, etc……??? -”

 

The Japanese then replied, “Oh, I am a Japanese.” A while later the
Japanese turned to the American and asked what kind of kee was he.

 

The American, frustrated, yelled, “What do you mean what kind of -kee
am
I?!”

 

The Japanese said, “Are you a Yankee, donkee, or monkee?”

 

Moral of the story:
“NEVER INSULT ANYONE”

 

LESSON 4

 

There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, an American and a
French,who found this small genie bottle. When they rubbed the bottle,
a
genie appeared. Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the
bottle,
He said, “Next to you all are 4 swimming pools, I will give each of you
a
wish.

 

When you run towards the pool and jump, you shout what you want the
pool
Of water to become, then your
wish will come true.” The French wanted
to
start.

 

He ran towards the pool, jumped and shouted, “WINE”. The pool
immediately changed into a pool of wine. The Frenchman was so happy
swimming and drinking from the pool. Next is the Russian’s turn, he did
the same and shouted, “VODKA” and immersed himself into a pool of
vodka.

 

The German was next and he jumped and shouted, “BEER”. He was so
contented
with his beer pool. The last is the American. He was running towards
the
pool when suddenly he steps on a banana peel. He slipped towards the
pool
and shouted, “SHIT!!!!!!! -…….. .-”

 

Moral of the story:
“THINK TWICE BEFORE YOU SAY SOMETHING, BECAUSE SOMETIMES ACCIDENTS DO
HAPPEN”

 

LESSON 5
The organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was
in-charge. Each organ took a turn to speak up:

 

Brain….. I should be in-charge because I run all body functions.
Blood….. I
should be in-charge because I circulate oxygen for the
brain. Stomach… I should be in-charge because I process food to the
brain. Legs…… I should be in-charge because I take the brain where
it wants to go.
Eyes…… I should be in-charge because I let the brain see where it’s
going.
Asshole… I should be in-charge because I get rid of your waste. All
the other parts laughed so hard and this made the asshole very mad. To
prove his point, the asshole immediately slammed tightly closed and
stayed that way for 6 days, refusing to rid the body of any waste
whatsoever.

 

Day 1: Brain got a terrible headache and cried out for relief
Day 2: Stomach got bloated and began to ache terribly
Day 3: Legs got cramps and became unstable
Day 4: Eyes became watery and vision became blurred
Day 5: Blood became toxic and poisoned the body
Day 6: The other organs agreed to let the asshole be in-charge.

 

Moral of the
story:
“NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE, OR HOW IMPORTANT YOU THINK YOU ARE, YOU WILL
FIND
THAT IT IS ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE THAT IS IN-CHARGE”

 

Happy working!